The New Year is traditionally an excellent time to take charge of your health and wellbeing, yet for so many of us the fine plans, goals and resolutions we make each year can come crashing down around us within just a few weeks of being made.
So what happens to those genuine desires to do what we know will make us happier, healthier and more successful?
One of the reasons for failure is that we were never taught how our minds work. We were never shown how to really identify and then achieve what matters to us. We were never shown that there are in fact easy and effective ways to stop unwanted habits rather than trying to struggle with will power alone. As a Health Coach I see many of my clients struggle to achieve their health based goals and the result can be unnecessary feelings of disappointment and failure. So let me offer you my best tip to help you get going. It’s simply this. Stop trying!
Think about this for a moment, how often do you say to yourself “I’ll try” ( to achieve whatever it is). For example, you may say “I’m going to try and stop smoking this year”, or “I’m going to try and lose weight before my vacation”. But what do you really mean when you say that you will “try” to do something?
As a Coach I always challenge my client when I hear this word because more often than not what it really means is that the person has already sub-consciously decided that they will not succeed.
Consider, what goals are you ‘trying’ to work towards in your life? Now, what would happen if you replaced the word ‘try’ both in your inner self talk and outer conversations with the word ‘intend’. Go on give it a go right now. What do you notice?
In general if you are willing to replace the word try with intend you will have a much greater chance of achieving your goal. The word ‘intend’ implies that you are actually willing to be successful, whereas the word ‘try’ holds little commitment.
If you find the word ‘intend’ too uncomfortable to use with sincerity, then be honest about that and think about revising your goals so that they are more realistic for you.
So there you have it, stop trying and start intending.
Now to help you a little further along your journey of change, let me share a few more tips with you that you might just find useful.
•Be absolutely honest with yourself and if you are not really willing to make the effort to change, then recognise that no amount of wishing or trying, will make the slightest difference to you.
•Do what you can to set yourself up for success. By this I mean putting structures in place around yourself t make it a little bit easier to be successful. For example, send yourself a daily voice mail message reminding yourself of your goals. Or, if you are trying to change the habit of putting too much of the wrong kind of things in your mouth, such as cigarettes, food or alcohol, then find some way of breaking this automatic action such as only touching those things with your non-dominant hand from now on. This will at least help break your unconscious responses and help you chose consciously if you wish to go ahead. Be creative here and think of as many ways as you can of helping yourself to be successful.
•Get some support, I can’t emphasise enough how important this is. Going it alone can be really tough when you are breaking out of your comfort zone. Who do you have who could give you really unconditional and practical support? A partner, a friend, a professional Health Coach?
•Be kind to yourself. Remember that baby steps are fine. In fact taking small but positive steps on a regular basis can often be more productive than trying to take a big leap into the unknown. Steady and sustainable change is what you should aim for. Just like the story of the tortoise and the hare, there is much to be said for taking regular slow and steady steps in the direction of your goal. You will soon be able to look back over your shoulder and be surprised at just how far you have come.
So if you if you are planning to make some improvements to your health and wellbeing this year, remember to be kind to yourself, be realistic, look for ways to set yourself up for success, and above all don’t try! Good luck.
For more information on health coaching, please contact Erica at healthcoach@sonic.net.
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